Cari-bein'

Baggage Claim

If you're in a long-term relationship, do you ever try to imagine what your life would be like without your partner?  Not because things aren't good between you or because you're thinking of leaving the relationship, but just because you're trying to remember who you were before you became one-half of this entity known as "us"?  I've been doing that lately and I think it's for a couple of reasons.
 
This place has been very isolating and lacking in some of the basic things I require to lead any semblance of a stimulating life, so I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I like to do...and what I miss doing by living here.  Also, because of the lack of opportunity here and having spent the bulk of my time working in that detestable office job which is completely removed from the 'real' me, I spend more time than usual trying to remember who that person is.
 
Moving here was my boyfriend's idea.  This next move was a joint decision with regard to both timing and location.  And because we're moving to an area that's an old stomping ground of mine, I'm trying to imagine what it will be like to live there with him...which causes me to think back to what it was like to live there without him.
 
Relationships are instilled with such quirky and bizarre and amazing dynamics.  We've all had relationships where we look back and think, "What the HELL was I thinking?!"  And yet, in the throes of it, we were lost in it--inhabiting that special world woven by any two people in an intimate relationship.
 
I've had relationships where I had a lot in common with the person and many where we had very little in common.  I've often wondered what it takes to form a successful life partnership.  My boyfriend and I feel mated for life, and yet on the surface we seem to have different interests and often different likes and dislikes.  But I think the primary reason we were, and are, drawn to each other is that we arrived at the relationship with similar baggage.  We share similar insecurities and behavior patterns and beliefs.  Maybe that's the secret to finding the right person for us:  when we arrive at the relationship baggage claim, look for the one whose luggage most closely resembles our own.  Because if we truly get what makes our partner tick (and sometimes fail to tock), then hobbies and salaries and titles and possessions aren't really that important after all.

posted by Marilyn @ 6:40 AM