Cari-bein'

Fragrance

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." --Mark Twain

I'm struggling, people. I'm really struggling with some anger issues, on a couple of fronts. One of the primary issues has to do with my employer (see last post). I find myself in the middle of a rather strange and awkward situation. My employer, upon being told that we plan to move stateside, made it immediately clear to me that he planned to try to woo my predecessor back to her old job. This is awkward because she and I are friends (see today's post on the other blog...she's "L"). When we ran into her at the beach today, she immediately told me that he's been calling her for weeks trying to convince her to take the job. The last time he'd mentioned it to me I got the impression that she'd pretty much given him the idea that she wasn't interested. But he's made several ensuing phone calls and even went so far as to ask to be invited to her home to discuss it. Unbeknownst to me, he asked her to make a decision by Friday--last Friday. Why he's pressuring her to make a decision so far in advance of my departure is a mystery to both of us. (And if he's planning on "letting me go"...yippee!)

Today she asked my advice about what she should do. (We had a phone conversation about it several weeks ago, too.) She knows that I know how much she hated working there before, so she asked me today whether the situation and/or job have changed from what they were three years ago. She knows I'll be honest with her--even though that honesty would convince anyone in her right mind to say no.

I wasn't expecting to spend my Sunday afternoon at the beach--a time we reserve for relaxation and lounging and swimming and dozing--discussing the pros and cons of this situation with my possible replacement. I have no hard feelings toward my pal. If anything, it would make my life a lot easier if she came back.

Here's his offer to her: a big salary (especially compared to mine, which is less than hers was before), reduced hours and full payment of her son's private school tuition which is $13,000/year. He told me all of this weeks ago. He's so clueless that it apparently doesn't occur to him that it's not going to do wonders for my mood to share that info with me now, since I'll be there another six or seven months. (Although at the rate he's going, I'm not sure I can stand another month.)

My friend and her husband are torn, because of course it would help them a lot to have someone else pay their son's tuition. But she knows there'll be a price to pay--in some way--because she knows him and knows what he's like. One of the biggest reasons she's leaning toward turning down his offer is the way he's treated me through all of this. She (rightly) wonders if he wouldn't possibly treat her just as shabbily down the road. I tried to assure her that I think that's unlikely since it's always appeared that he has her up on a pedestal, which mystifies her. She counters that I'm much better at certain parts of the job (and I don't argue, I am) which makes his behavior even more bizarre. He's already told me that he'd want me to train her to do the job my way, because I do it "better."

He's expecting me to act with grace and aplomb in a situation that I find demeaning and resentment-building. I'm having a really hard time letting go of the anger. I may be shedding a fragrance right now as he attempts to crush me, but it sure doesn't smell too pretty.

posted by Marilyn @ 6:36 PM